The Alphabet Book Of Manliness



May 30, 2006 I am fully convinced after reading the entire A-Z of The Alphabet of Manliness that the author of its 26 essays, Maddox, is a nerd. And not just because he correctly alphabetizes the entries, but because he can recite the names of every Castlevania game, talks about hacking and IP addresses and various mathematical theorems, and has just spent way too much time analyzing in minute detail every aspect of the penis, its functions, and its influence on the male brain. I am fully convinced after reading the entire A-Z of The Alphabet of Manliness that the author of its 26 essays, Maddox, is a nerd. And not just because he correctly alphabetizes the entries, but because he can recite the names of every Castlevania game, talks about hacking and IP addresses and various mathematical theorems, and has just spent way too much time analyzing in minute detail every aspect of the penis, its functions, and its influence on the male brain. This is more an alphabet of being a 17-year-old boy than an alphabet of manliness. I found it to be very funny, partially because I maintain a 17-year-old’s sense of humor. I’ll say up front that in terms of actual laughter, this is an elite of the “humor” section of the book store, and I recommend it strongly.

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The Alphabet of Manliness
AuthorMaddox
CountryUnited States
LanguageEnglish
PublisherKensington, Penguin
Publication date
2006
Pages224
ISBN978-0-7181-5202-4
OCLC166867766

The Alphabet of Manliness is the debut book by American humorist and Internet personality Maddox, published in 2006. It reached the #2 position on the New York Times Best Seller List in the 'Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous' category.[1]

Publication[edit]

Maddox announced the book on February 22, 2005, and announced its title to a mailing list on October 18, 2005.[2] An art contest was held on the website to pick the illustrators. The book was officially completed on January 19, 2006, as announced on Maddox's website. The book first appeared in Barnes and Noble bookstores during May 2006, and it arrived to those who pre-ordered it on June 1, 2006. The book debuted at #4 on the New York Times Best Seller list for 'Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous,' and remained on the list for ten weeks.[3][4] The book was published by Kensington in the United States and was published by Penguin in the United Kingdom.

The 224-page long book is dedicated to Maddox himself: 'To the love of my life, my soul mate, and the greatest person in the world: Me.'

Several parts of the UK version were removed, perhaps the most notable omission being the 'headbutt to the ovaries' section of the first chapter ('A - Ass-Kicking'). The edition also contains a disclaimer.

On February 20, 2009, Maddox announced on the book's web site that he is 'working on a new edition of The Alphabet of Manliness,' and that 'the new edition will be expanded and revised, and will include The Numbers of Manliness.'

Sections[edit]

The book consists of 26 short sections, each corresponding to a letter of the alphabet.

  • A - Ass-Kicking
  • B - Boner
  • C - Copping a Feel
  • D - Dump, Taking a
  • E - Enlightenment
  • F - Female Wrestling
  • G - Gas
  • H - Hot Sauce
  • I - Irate
  • J - Jerky, Beef
  • K - Knockers
  • L - Lumberjack
  • M - Metal
  • N - Norris, Chuck
  • O - Obedience
  • P - Pirates
  • Q - Quickies
  • R - Road Rage
  • S - Sneaking a Peek
  • T - Taunting
  • U - Urinal Etiquette
  • V - Violence
  • W - Winner
  • X - XXX
  • Y - Yelling
  • Z - (Office) Zombies

Illustrators[edit]

  • Bryan Douglas
  • Justina Fader
  • Louis Fernet-Leclair
  • Jim Moore
  • John Petersen
  • Thomas Pollock Jr.
  • Leah Tiscione
  • Angelo Vildasol

Book signing tour[edit]

The Alphabet Book Of Manliness Books

After the official release of The Alphabet of Manliness, Maddox went on a book signing tour in several states, starting in his home state of Utah. The first leg of his tour took him from Salt Lake City to the East Coast and Midwest of the United States. The second leg of the tour to the West Coast started on July 13, 2006, ending on July 29, 2006.

On this tour he dressed himself in a large royal gown and was wearing a crown on his head. This provoked many people to get down on their hands and knees in front of him, often kissing his hand.

On the book's website, Maddox also jokingly listed a set of rules for fans, such as barring eye contact or talking directly to him (referring to an urban legend about popular figures such as Hillary Clinton and Shania Twain), formal dress attire, and remaining at least three feet (1 yard) away at all times.

Extended Edition[edit]

The Alphabet Of Manliness Pdf

The Alphabet of Manliness: Extended Edition came out on August 25, 2009. It contains an epilogue, 36 additional pages about 'The Numbers of Manliness', and eight full-color inserts.Another book tour took place as well.[5][6]

See also[edit]

References[edit]

  1. ^'PAPERBACK BEST SELLERS - June 25, 2006 - List - NYTimes.com'. New York Times. 2006-06-25. Retrieved 2011-07-24.
  2. ^'Holy shit! I'm writing a book!'. Maddox.xmission.com. Archived from the original on 2005-03-25. Retrieved 2011-07-24.
  3. ^'PAPERBACK BEST SELLERS - August 13, 2006 - List - NYTimes.com'. New York Times. 2006-08-13. Retrieved 2011-07-24.
  4. ^'PAPERBACK BEST SELLERS - August 20, 2006 - List - NYTimes.com'. New York Times. 2006-08-20. Retrieved 2011-07-24.
  5. ^'The Best Book Tour in the Universe: Round 2'. Maddox.xmission.com. 2009-08-25. Archived from the original on 2011-07-23. Retrieved 2011-07-24.
  6. ^'The Best Book Tour in the Universe: Round 2'. Thebestpageintheuniverse.net. Retrieved 2011-07-24.

External links[edit]

Retrieved from 'https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Alphabet_of_Manliness&oldid=983607418'
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The Alphabet of Manliness Quotes Showing 1-3 of 3
“But most of all, I’d like to thank me. Without me, none of this would have been possible. I really did a bang-up job on this book, and I deserve all the credit. I hereby revoke all the gratitude I expressed above and keep it for myself.”
“In the beginning, when God created the heavens—a vast and expansive cloud of dust and gas that eventually coalesced into planets revolving around a hydrogenous fusion core—he also fancied creating Earth, a planet ripe with the dust of creation. Being the resourceful God that he is, he decided to put all this dust to good use and to create man from it. It took millions of years and countless particles of matter to culminate in the creation of man, and what does Adam do when he’s put on Earth? What every red-blooded man does when he gets some free time: nothing”
“THE BUTT A woman’s posterior is the most grabbable part of her body, but first you must learn to find the right type of ass to grab. There’s a great variety of asses out there, but unfortunately many of them aren’t worth touching even in a clinical setting. The ideal type of woman for groping is a woman blessed with a thick ass. Don’t confuse a “thick” ass for a fat ass (Figure 2). A fat ass is a sad ass. You don’t want anything to do with a fat ass, other than to loathe it. A thick ass, on the other hand, is plump and beautiful; it should make you feel hungry like when you see a glazed ham that you can’t afford in a Christmas catalogue (Figure 3). This is the best-case scenario for ass connoisseurs. You won’t find a butt riper for the picking, so don’t pass that ass.”

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